New airline rules
Stage 1 security:
Every passenger is required to allow a FAA certified surgeon to open the chest cavity and search for any devise that could be used to disrupt or destroy the aircraft.
Stage 2:
All passengers must poop and puke simultaneously into a bag in order to expel any baggies or rubbers filled with contraband.
Stage 3:
All passengers must perform a handstand, to assure heads are properly attached.
Any persons whose head falls off will not be allowed to board the aircraft.
Stage 4:
All passengers must recite one totally illogical sentence, and then attempt to explain a paradox, to prove that they are not a robot.
