Friday, September 24, 2010

Book learnin'

Education makes you miserable. And I'm not even talking about some fancy-pants Ivy League — just some horrendously discouraging public education and then a mid-tier Midwestern university will do the trick —or even a library card. I suppose that's better than being scared — scared of gays, immigrants, wardrobe malfunctions, and Kenyan-Socialist Nazi Islamists and child predators sneaking into playgrounds.

Instead, havin' been eja-cated and such, I can't turn on the TV without thinking about some theory of Neil Postman's. I can't watch even a seemingly innocuous television program without sensing an "assault" of implications and consumerist subversion that soon leads to rants and high blood pressure.

During my daily commute accross the Illinois River, I can't help but think of all the literal shit that flows directly into the water every time it storms. I can't help but think of the pending lawsuit against the power plant on the river that spews it's angel-of-death pattern over the city. And the fact that, as it shortens the locals' lifespans, the electricity is sent to homes in sanitized Chicagoland 'burbs. As I step out of my car and whiff what swirls and combines with the other industrial waste, it's hard to breath without smelling the ripe scent of particulate matter.
I just love the smell of sulfer in the morning.

Then lunch — even if the beef in my food is from the grocery store, I know it contains parts of several different unhealthy cows that were sustained with feed they should never have been eating. I know every part of my meal was likely flown or trucked to Illinois from far away and that I am just another wasteful piece of shit that ruined the planet for a taco. The more you know, the less you wish you did.

Fuck you, college; I'm no smarter or happier but I know how to use a semicolon.


Carrie said...

so inspiring, Eddie. Will mom and dad mind if I just absorb the music scene here til I flunk out?? ughhhh. I must now read David Foster Wallace's "This is Water."

By the way, I keep catching spelling errors in your statuses, come onnnn, fuck the semicolon if you cant spell "buy"!! and by that I mean just two errors, but I was too kind to point out the latest. You're still much smarter than Ill ever be. Til you're 6 years ahead of me in our 80s- Ill finally have you for a few years.

Warped Coasters said...

yes I think Mom and Dad will mind.

My statuses are always riddled with errors — simple typos, ya turkey.

I'm not any smarter, but
you'll catch up to me as soon as you pass Freshman speech class, for it contains all the knowledge in the worrrrrrrld. I just happen to suffer from the same problem that Neil Young self-described, "Is there anything he knows that he ain't said?"

Carrie said...

what do you think about this: